10/28/1116:57 Oct 28 2011
Times Read: 669
October 28, 2011 11:54 AM
Well, I stated at the end of my last journal entry that I hoped to have some positive things to report when I next checked in. Unfortunately, that isn't the case, but I feel the need to get some things off of my chest.
Sadly for me, I'm still at the same job. I've put out a ton of resumes, but unfortunately haven't found anything. I must say, however, that things haven't been as bad there recently seeing as it's the off-season and it's been a lot slower. I'd still like to get the Hell out of there, though, so hopefully something will come up soon. Then again, I've been saying that for what seems like forever, lol.
As for the girl I asked out at work this summer ... it looks like that isn't going anywhere. She hasn't mentioned anything about it since I originally asked her in July and she actually posted something on her Facebook about being in an "open relationship" (whatever that means). So, I'm just assuming she's not interested, lol.
To be honest, I'm fine with that. I've learned a bit more about her in the past little while and I'm not sure things would work out between us, anyway. For one thing, she appears to be at least somewhat of a drinker and with me being Straight Edge and extremely anti-alcohol ... well, that's not going to work, lol. I still think she's a very nice person and everything, but I'm just not sure her and I would be compatible. Plus, I think she may be put off by the kind of person I am as well (let's just say that anyone who's on my Facebook gets a pretty good taste of who I really am, lol).
One thing I do regret about the situation, however, is there is a very good chance I wouldn't still be at my current job if it hadn't been for my hope to try and build something with her. On the very same night I asked her out, my boss left me a nasty note (things had been heated between she and much of the department at the time) and I SO wanted to say "Fuck it!" and walk out of there. But I didn't, because when I spoke to the girl I was interested in that night we had talked about maybe getting to know each other better a little later on, etc., and I wasn't sure if that would throw a monkey wrench into those plans. Obviously, if I'd known nothing was going to come of it, I could have - and likely would have - been out of there. So, that kind of sucks. But, oh, well.
I took a break from much of life recently to relax, reflect on and think about things. I am in an awful rut and have this constant feeling of hopelessness weighing down my spirit. Actually, I've been in that position for a very long time (something I have made no secret of here) and truthfully, I can't figure out a way to solve it - at least not a solution I like. The lone answer that keeps coming back to me is one I don't want to revisit.
I'm afraid it's not looking good. But we'll see.
COMMENTS
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DireConsequences
02:51 Oct 29 2011
I really hope things start looking up for you, Adam. *hugs* I'm around if you need me.
DestroyingAngel
18:35 Oct 30 2011
I'm really sorry to read this. I was hoping things would have looked up for you...at work and with this girl. I too hope that they do start looking up for you.
You deserve it man. *big hugs*